


Mission Handkäse

by Musiciati



Category: SPY x FAMILY (Manga)
Genre: Adventure, Alternate Universe - Future, Cheese, Comedy, Gen, Pregnancy, food cravings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 19:41:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,576
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30127872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musiciati/pseuds/Musiciati
Summary: Anya and Bond explore the city of Berlint on the search for the elusive Handkäse.
Relationships: Anya Forger & Loid Forger | Twilight & Yor Briar Forger | Thorn Princess
Comments: 6
Kudos: 16





	Mission Handkäse

The evening dusk peaks through the window, illuminating the pink hair of the small girl cuddling on the floor with her dog. Both eyes were entranced by the flickering images on the screen when the images begin to fade and jazzy music starts to play as the end credits begin to roll onto the TV screen. 

The little girl lets go of her dog and moves her attention to the couch, where the smell of buttery popcorn is calling to her and the little girl proceeds to snatch the remainder of the snack out of the woman's hands.

"Anya, I was still eating that!" Yor exclaims in surprise and tries to reach for the bowl just slightly out of her reach, and being held hostage by her daughter.

"Mama, you know that Papa says you need to rash-on foods like this." Anya hands one popcorn piece and then devours the rest in a fistful.

"Anya, it's ration, and be careful, you can choke like that." Yor reprimands while trying to savor the single popcorn she's been given.

Anya chews the mouthful of popcorn and wanders her gaze to Yor's stomach.

"Mama, do you think the baby also likes the popcorn?" Anya asks, tilting her head as if to hear the baby's thoughts on popcorn.

Yor smiles and rubs her stomach lovingly, "I'm sure she or he likes popcorn, but now I think the baby wants something else..." Yor frowns and her eyes glaze distantly. 

Anya waves her hand in front of Yor's face calling out, "Mama?"

Yor blinks and sighs, "Sorry Anya, I was just craving for something I had when I was a child. Too bad, I don't think they have any here. Well, how about we watch another show while we wait for Papa to come back from work?" Yor says as she grabs the remote and changes the channel.

_In last week's episode, Kenny and Michelle's whirlwind romance comes to a halt during-_

_*static*_

_Bigfoot's Mother Found? In this tell all-_

_*static*_

_Famous Borginian singer Lamiroir to appear in a tour through Ostania-_

_*static*_

_About 30km north of Frankfuten, is Lahnder, where the delicacy Handkäse has been perfected by-_

_*static*_

_-better get me file 0-37 and call the airport...you're calling in Dr. Benjamin Quest...right-_

_*_ _static-pause-static*_

_-in the three factories at Lahnder, the specialty cheese is made by mixing sour milk, baking soda, and salt and then shaped into little patties and moved to the sweating room where the cheese matures...this cheese is full of protein, little fat, and a little salt, making it a healthy snack..._

Yor stares at the tv hungrily and Anya looks at the screen trying to figure out how that yellowish jelly lump was cheese. _Maybe mama really doesn't know what food is and that's why she can't cook._

Anya tugs on Yor's sleeve, "Mama, that's not cheese, right?".

Yor tears her attention away from the screen and smoothes out Anya's hair while chuckling, "It is cheese, Anya. Back when I was little, that cheese was a specialty of our home region. I agree that it doesn't look a lot like cheese, but I loved it and now all I want is that cheese."

"Why can't we have some of it now then?" 

"Well, Berlint is pretty far from my childhood home, and the cheese is pretty strong, so it's an acquired taste that I don't think it's popular enough to sell here..."

Anya's face dimmed in disappointment since the strange cheese that mama keeps thinking about is making Anya curious to try. 

Yor notices and thinks for a minute before clapping her hands in glee.

"Oh, I just remembered, I think Yuri came back from a trip near the area, maybe he brought some with him."

"Oh, let me call Uncle Yuri."

Anya clamors to the phone and dials one of the few numbers she recognizes in the phonebook and waits for him to pick up.

A grumpy and disgruntled, "Hello" was heard before Anya beaming into the phone, yells, "Hi Uncle Yuri, it's Anya!" 

"Ahh...Anya don't yell into phones, you could break my eardrum."

"Hehe, Sorry Uncle Yuri, mama is wondering if you have umm...-mama! What's it called again?" Anya holds the phone towards Yor who has gotten up from the couch to join Anya and takes the phone from her.

"Hi Yuri, sorry to bother you when you probably just got off work. I'm just wondering on your last trip if you grabbed some handkäse on your way back since I knew you were in the area."

Yor twiddles with the phone chord and then flinches and pulls the phone away from her ear.

"Yor! I'm so horrible. I'm the worst brother. I didn't get any, and now you're probably dying craving for some right?-No, you know what, I'll go to all the stores and find you some handkäse, and if not I'll go back, just for you! Don't worry Yor, this brother of yours is on the hunt!" 

The voice gets softer until there just the dial tone left and Anya and Yor just look at the phone in shock before Yor hangs up and looks to Anya sighing.

"Well, I guess the baby won't get any of that handkäse. Anya, I'm feeling a little tired, so I'm going to take a quick nap, so let's go to your room and you can play there until Papa's home and we can have dinner, okay?"

"Okay, mama." 

Anya takes Yor's hand and Bond follows them to the room.

~~~

Anya peaks into the bedroom and sees Yor sound asleep and closes the door slowly. Turning to Bond, she beckons him to the entrance, as she tiptoes across the hallway holding Bond's leash. 

Connecting the leash to Bond's collar, Anya reaches for the door handle and quietly turns the knob, wincing as the door slightly creaks. Holding her breath, Anya turns towards the hall and waits to hear if Yor woke up. Silence, Anya then continues to open the door and leads Bond outside, and closes the door slowly. Bond takes lead and Anya follows him down the building and upon reaching the entrance, Anya stops Bond and takes both hands to frame his face.

"Okay Bond, this is an important mission. We go find mama her weird cheese and bring it back so that the baby will be happy okay? A simple stealth mission got it?"

Bond looks at Anya and licks her face.

"Ugh, okay...haha...okay I think you got it, Bond. So first stop, the grocery store."

Taking the leash once more, Anya and Bond push past the door entrance and enter the streets of Berlint. 

~~~

*Fifteen minutes before*

Anya knew the moment that Yor fell asleep. The thoughts of craving handkäse began to pewter off to the soft darkness of sleep. Anya felt bad for mama, but she knew that it was the baby's fault for making mama restless. Anya knew she had to do something because if mama was restless, then papa would be too and that means more focus on Anya studying and she didn't want that. 

Sneaking out of her room, Anya heads to the phonebook once more and looks for another number. Recognizing her papa's handwriting, she dials the number written.

"Hey, eat slower. Yes?" a man's voice answered.

"Uncle Frankie? It's Anya."

"Anya, why are you calling?"

"Uncle Frankie, do you have any umm...hahnkeys?"

"Hahnkeys?"

"Umm, it's a cheese I think? Mama is craving some and Papa isn't here."

"Oh, you mean handkäse...Yes, we do!" 

"No we don't" a voice interrupted in the background.

A muffled sound of a hand trying to cover the phone was heard, and Anya could still the conversation from the other side of the line.

"I just ate the last of it."

"What do you mean."

"I just ate the last bit of it a minute ago, see the empty plate."

"Great job Daybreak! Yor's craving for handkäse and just ate it."

"What, Yor wants handkäse? Sorry didn't know."

The sound of rustling was heard over the phone before Frankie answered Anya.

"Sorry Anya, I wished you called earlier, an annoying bear ate all the handkäse we had."

"I'm not surprised after all, Day ate all of my peanuts." Anya huffed still sore from the incident.

"Okay, thanks Uncle-" a clamor from the phone "-Anya, Anya, I will call everyone I know to find some for the boss's wife, don't worry. Now come on Frankie, let's go."

"Uhh hmm, Anya, looks like I'll have to babysit the bear. Don't worry though, since this is about food, I'm sure Daybreak can find it."

"Umm okay, thank you, Uncle Frankie, bye."

Anya hangs up the phone and takes a look at Bond lying on the floor near her feet.

"Looks like it's up to us Bond."

Bond looks up and whines.

"I know Uncle Frankie and Day mean well, but if what Papa thinks of Daybreak is true, then we'll have better chances of finding some instead."

~~~

Anya tiesd Bond's leash outside the grocery store and pats his head.

"Okay Bond, I'm leaving you here on the lookout, just bark twice if there's trouble. I'm going in."

Anya squares her shoulders and turns around to face the entrance of the grocery store and marches inside.

The store was chaos, the battle for the consumers' dalcs raged on as a lone girl stood in the store alone and cups both her hands to her face, and yells, "Hello, I need your finest cheesemonger please!"

The store bustle halts and eyes turn to look at the pink-haired child, before shaking their head and returning to their fight over products.

An old man with an apron walks toward the girl and bends down.

"Hello there little girl, where're your parents, are you lost?" 

The old man smiles gently at Anya as she shakes her head and answers back.

"No, I'm not lost, my mama is just tired because she has a baby and she needs me to find her some cheese." 

"Well, if you're looking for cheese I can show you the aisle."

*Anya takes his hand and follows him to the deli section.

Anya's eyes doubled in size as she saw the multiple shapes and sizes of cheese presented in the aisle. If she was a mouse, she would be in cheese heaven.

"So what kind of cheese are you looking for, Edelpilz, Butterkäse, Limburger?"

The worker showed Anya a bunch of different types of cheese and they were all different and smelly, but it wasn't the right kind.

"Umm, I'm looking for hankies."

"Hankies, umm I don't think that's a type of cheese."

"No, it's called hankies, my mama and I saw it on tv."

"Oh, that tv special." 

The man mumbled and shook his head.

"Sorry, but for some reason, there was an influx of people before you got here and they bought the last of our scarce supply of handkäse."

Anya tried not to look disappointed and heard the man's thoughts of the last person who bought the cheese, a man bulldozing his way to the deli, grabbing the last one as his life depended on it and laughing as he left. 

_'Some people must really love this cheese'_ Anya thought, all the while even more curious to try this elusive cheese.

"Well, thank you for the help, I'll just go back to my mama now, bye" 

Anya waves and leaves the worker in the aisle.

The grocery door opens and Bond lifts his head and lets out a low boof at the girl trudging slowly out the store. The girl looks at her dog and shakes her head and Bond whines in disappointment. 

"Sorry Bond, I guess hero's don't always win. Guess it's time to hit the books. Let's go home."

Anya unties the leash and Bond nudges Anya's hand.

"What is it boy?"

Bond nudges Anya's hand to his back and looks at her.

"Oh, do you want me to ride on your back? Okay, but let's take a slow walk, I'm not ready to see an angry Papa or worried Mama."

Anya clamors onto Bond and they head back home.

The sky has gotten darker and colder and as Anya held onto Bond, the pooch shifts his head sharply to the left and sniffs, before racing towards another street with Anya holding on for dear life.

"Bo-Bond, stop! I said take it slow! Wait!"

They skitter to a stop and Bond is staring at a couple sitting outside at a restaurant as a waiter serves them something gelatinous covered with onions and seeds on a plate with bread. 

"Oh, wait that it Bond! That's the cheese. Good job boy!"

Anya hugs Bond's neck and slides off Bond and walks towards the restaurant.

The bored man at the front looked down when a small cough was heard and raised an eyebrow.

"I'm sorry, but we don't give handouts, you might want to try somewhere else, now shoo."

Anya huffs and puts her hands on her hips.

"I'm trying to buy your cheese sir."

The man gesture to himself and says, "I'm sorry miss, but to get into the restaurant you must be wearing the appropriate attire, not-" he scans Anya and Bond, "-masked cartoon dresses and animals are not permitted in the restaurant." 

"B-but I need to get handkäse." Anya stammers as she and Bond are being pushed away from the restaurant and their goal. 

As Anya begins to make a fit, a voice rings out from the left.

"Anya! What are you doing here?"

The girl and dog freeze from grabbing the host's coattail and turn to see Uncle Frankie staring back at them in shock.

"Uncle Frankie, umm...I'm just trying to buy that cheese that mama wants obviously"

"Anya, I don't think harassing the host will get you what you want, so please let go."

Anya deftly lets go and nods for Bond to let go as well and the host just huffs and tries to straighten his disheveled appearance before turning to Frankie.

"I would hope you would take better care to watch your niece and pooch, now if you'll excuse me I have some guest to entertain-Yes, hello welcome, this way if you please." 

The host gestures to the waiting bystanders and gives a glare at Frankie and Anya before leaving.

Frankie approaches as Anya tries to put her best innocent face.

"Now, Anya I know you want to help Yor and find that cheese, but running around alone isn't the answer."

"I know Uncle Frankie, but I was just trying to help."

"Well, you're in luck because I know a friend to owns a specialty shop and I'm sure that we can find it there. Now let's go get it quickly, so we don't worry your parents."

Anya's eyes glitter and she enthusiastically hops down the sidewalk holding Frankie's hand as they head off to the specialty store.

The air is crisp and the sky has become dark when Frankie, Anya, and Bond find themselves in front of a brownstone building with glowing lights emitting from the sidewalk. 

The bell jingles as they enter and a matronly woman at the counter greets them will a smile.

"Ah, Frankie, you're just in time. I got a new shipment of those specialty cigars you wanted."

Frankie leads Anya and Bond to the counter and Anya looks around in amazement, especially at the glass jar filled with candy, as Bond sniffs the dried flowers in the corner.

"Thanks, Martha, I'll come by later to try them out. Actually, I'm here because we're looking for some Handkäse. I know you have a collection of southern cheeses, so I'd hope you had some."

"Ahh, I might, but first who's the cute little lady and her white pooch?"

Martha smiles handing a bonbon to Anya's eager hands and a crunchy dog treat to Bond.

"Oh, this is Anya, my niece, and Bond." 

"Well, it's nice to meet you, Anya and Bond."

Anya gives a thumbs-up as she chews her candy and Bond boofs in response.

"Okay, just give me a minute, and feel free to browse the store."

Martha heads to the back and Anya decides to browse the store while Frankie watches from the counter.

An aisle filled with all sorts of food from different parts of the world amazed Anya as she browsed.

Sweet treats, candies, and baked goods filled with nuts in one aisle. Another aisle was full of oddly shaped fruits and veggies that Anya has never seen. And the strangest aisle held glass containers with strange floating objects...wait were those eyeballs?

"Alright, found it!" Martha's voice booms from the front and Anya scurries back to the counter.

Martha was handing Frankie cuts of yellow-white translucent blocks wrapped in a cellophane-wrapped packaged and received the money and waved to Anya and Bond as they left.

"Bye, Anya and Frankie come back any time to try the new products, I think it'll be a hit."

"I will, thanks."

The bell jingles once more as they left and head to the apartment with the package acquired.

~~~

A knock on the door and a worried Yor answered the door and cries in relief when she sees the visitors at the door.

"Oh thank goodness, come here Anya, I thought I lost you."

Anya goes to hug the distressed Yor while Frankie removes Bond's leash.

Anya's little adventure took a little longer than anticipated and Anya could only mumble a soft sorry as Yor hugs her. 

"Oh Anya, where did you go? You shouldn't have gone outside without telling me. I was so worried and what would I tell Loid!"

Yor lets go of Anya and wipes the tears of relief from her eyes before noticing an awkwardly standing Frankie at their door.

"Oh, Frankie, where are my manners, please come in. Thank you for bringing Anya home."

Frankie enters and hands the package to Anya.

"No worries, and don't be too mad, I think Anya had the best intentions when she went out, even if it wasn't the best idea. Why don't you show her Anya."

Anya holds up the package to Yor and questioningly Yor takes it and unwraps the cellophane and gasps.

"Oh Anya, you didn't have to do that for me. Thank you, but let's not go anywhere without telling anyone okay?"

"Alright, Mama" Anya obediently nods back.

Yor's eyes had started to tear up again and as she wipes them away she gestures to the couch.

"Frankie, while you're here, why don't you have some tea as thanks."

"Well, I can't deny the need for some tea. Thank you Yor."

Frankie heads to the couch while Anya and Bond head to join him.

Yor heads to the kitchen to prepare the tea and hot cocoa and brings the cheese with her.

Anya looks at Frankie and asks, "What happened to Day? I thought he was going to get some handkäse."

Frankie scratches the back of his head before responding, "Well, the glutton didn't make it very far past the door before he ran to the bathroom."

Anya looks in horror, did she just give Mama bad cheese?

Frankie seeing Anya's face waves his hands wildly, "No, no what I meant is that Daybreak is lactose intolerant, but he insists on eating dairy so that's what happened."

Anya understood, one of her classmates is lactose intolerant and couldn't participate in the ice cream reward the class won after the gym tournament, she wouldn't be able to resist ice cream if

she was lactose intolerant and the sounds of the suffering classmate still echoed in her head.

Yor returns with steaming cups of tea and cocoa and hands them to Frankie and Anya. Yor then disappears and reappears with a plate of the strange cheese covered with onions and seeds and buttered

bread. Settling into a chair, Yor slices a bit of the cheese and puts it on the bread before taking a bite. Yor's face melts into bliss and she does a little dance in

the chair as she digs in, Anya sips her cocoa as she watches as Yor is definitely enjoying the treat and Anya smiles says that the trip was worth it.

Anya gives Bond a wink, looks like there won't be any strict study schedules coming soon, mission accomplished.

The door opens and an exhausted Loid walks in and pauses to take in the sight that greeted him.

A happy and content Yor was devouring some kind of yellowish blob on bread, Anya was sipping cocoa looking smug, Bond was lying comfortably near Frankie's feet and Frankie was sipping

tea and waving at Loid. _Just what did I miss?_

Right, when Loid was going to ask, a loud bang at the door interrupts his thought and Loid turns to open the door, only to have his face shoved with a bag of something smelling like sour milk.

Lowering the bag to face his assailant, his face drops in slight annoyance as he sees Yuri has already run into the apartment and was kneeling next to Yor and was holding three other bags,

with what Loid could guess was more of the strange cheese. Sighing, he closes the door hoping that that was all the surprises today and Anya just laughs and sips her cocoa after hearing her

Papa's thoughts. 

_Oh Papa, the night's still early._

**Author's Note:**

> *[Note from the author: If you are small and/or alone, please don't follow strangers that you or your family do not know or accept things from them, thank you!]
> 
> Originally I was going to have Frankie take Anya away while she's harassing the host and then as Anya is being carried away, she sticks out her tongue and waves 300 dalcs, that she may or may not have taken from Loid's rainy day funds, while the host just stands there flabbergasted, but I just didn't know how to fit it in but thought that would have been funny.
> 
> Poor Loid needs a break and a raise.
> 
> There were some easter eggs, wonder if you noticed. 
> 
> Anyway, I thought this was a cute little future fic with Anya and Bond on a silly adventure that I had fun brainstorming and writing out, so I hope you enjoyed it as well.


End file.
